Hopeless Dreamer
by StrangeTastes
Summary: When a sleepless night leads to a conversation on the deck of the Albiore, Noelle begins to regret that, this time, she is the hopeless dreamer in the situation. Why does it have to be him?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of the Abyss or any of its characters, and I make no profit from writing this story.

A/N: Here's my first Tales story of any kind, but I'm hoping I did a good job on both characters and plot. I'm not sure if I want to leave it as a oneshot or post more chapters, but I'll leave it "In Progress" for now.

Hopeless Dreamer

Noelle sighed for what seemed like the tenth time since she had landed the Albiore for some rest. While Guy had offered to take over for her so she could sleep, she didn't feel comfortable about leaving her vessel in his likely more-than-capable hands without her awake in case anything went wrong. And that was the problem…

She felt horrible for not allowing him to fly the aircraft, even though as a Fon-tech enthusiast he would have done just fine. Just seeing his face fall after she refused broke her heart, and now she couldn't even sleep anyway. What an awful situation to be in…she sighed again, sliding out of the bed in search of some lavender, hoping it would make her tired.

She rifled through the shelf of items in the small resting area in the Albiore first, disappointed when she found nothing but a few dust bunnies and spider webs. Unconsciously, she shuddered at the feel of them sticking to her hands and quickly brushed them off on her pants before attempting to find her bag. She moved to the side of her bed where she always dropped it off, panicking when the space was completely empty. She shook her head to clear it, remembering that perhaps it was still in the cockpit. She _was_ tired enough to have forgotten it there.

The Albiore was a disconcerting place to be at night with everyone else asleep and nothing but the residual hum of machinery to break the silence. She found herself alert and tense, checking every corner for danger, even though no one should be able to get in anyway. She almost wondered if she should have just stayed in bed, since she was getting so worked up. With soft footsteps, so she wouldn't hear any echoing, she finally arrived at the cockpit to pick up her supplies. Just as she figured, they were right next to her seat and she approached it.

"Whoosh!"

The sudden exclamation terrified Noelle, and she cried out in fright, jumping backwards. She couldn't see who emerged from the seat in a similar state of terror, but his mirroring yelp gave it away anyway. She held a hand to her chest, willing herself to calm down.

"Guy…you startled me!" she said, panting for breath. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, embarrassment setting in.

"I'm sorry. I thought you'd be asleep by now," he replied, sounding a bit ashamed of himself.

"I was just trying to find something to help me sleep. But, what are you doing in here?" she asked, thinking he should be asleep just like her.

For a few moments, there was an uncomfortable silence that neither seemed willing to break. Guy suddenly found the floor much more interesting than the curious young woman in front of him, and Noelle wasn't about to repeat the question, even in her desire for an answer. Finally, and unwillingly, it seemed, Guy spoke up.

"I was just imagining flying the Albiore. I know it's childish, maybe even a bit stupid, but…I love the thought of flying this aircraft, that's all." He seemed so sullen and guilt stricken that Noelle suddenly found herself giggling. "What? Why are you laughing?" Guy asked, feeling self-conscious.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh, but you're acting like you did something wrong, even though I understand completely how you feel. So don't feel bad, okay?"

Even through the darkness, she saw his bright blue eyes light up even more as he grinned boyishly. "Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have dreams of flying too, huh? Thanks."

"You're welcome, and feel free to keep going. I'll just grab my bag and be out of the way." She closed the distance between herself and the chair, careful not to frighten Guy, and started to sift through it.

Guy blushed lightly at that comment. "Nah, I think I'm done for the night. I was just trying to clear my thoughts a little anyway."

"Oh, do you want to talk about it?" she offered absentmindedly.

"Don't you need your sleep? I mean, that's why we stopped right?" he said back, holding his hand out in question.

Noelle closed the bag, the calming lavender still eluding her. "Yes, but as soon as I lay down, I was wide awake again, and I can't find what I was looking for to help me. So, maybe talking with you would help."

"I guess if you don't mind…but we might wake everyone else if we stay here. Should we go up to the deck?" Guy suggested.

She nodded in agreement, quietly opening the hatch door and leading the way up. Guy quickly found a comfortable spot to lie down as he stared up at the stars, waiting for her to sit as well. She did so a few feet away, just enough so he wouldn't be nervous. Noelle looked up at the sky as well, before turning to Guy in question. "So what were you thinking about?"

"It's really beautiful up here, isn't it?" he asked, seemingly lost in his own world.

Noelle was confused, but played along anyway. "Yes, the stars are very bright out here. I don't get to them like this very often."

"Well, then, could you lie down and watch them with me for a little bit, please? Just until I can figure out what I want to say," Guy said, the faintest strain of worry tainting the tone of his voice.

Instead of answering, she simply spread out on the deck as well, hands folded behind her head for comfort. For a few moments, there was only the sound of breathing, and Noelle tried not to pay attention to how calming it felt, simply laying there next to the swordsman.

She couldn't deny she felt a certain attachment to the blonde on the deck with her. He was always so excited when he was around her, though that was mostly due to the fact that she was the Albiore's pilot, but it truly was endearing to watch. He had such a child-like atmosphere surrounding him whenever he was near, she couldn't help but feel happy. No matter how many times she denied it as simple excitement to meet someone with similar interests, she knew she was only lying to herself.

She soon became so wound up in her own thoughts that she almost missed when Guy started speaking. She jumped as his voice cut through the silence. "Hey, Noelle, do you have any dreams?"

"I suppose. I guess I'm pretty much living one right now. It's amazing being able to fly like this, even just ferrying people back and forth. It's wonderful seeing how excited they get to fly as well. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life."

Still facing towards the sky, Noelle couldn't see the way Guy's expression clouded with each sentence. His voice was much darker than it usually was as he spoke again.

"I'm jealous."

She rolled over on her side to see him better, taking notice of his tense posture and fallen features. "Why? What are your dreams?"

"It seems stupid now after hearing what you said, how you pretty much have anything that you could ask for. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to come up here with me. I don't think I can do this."

As he moved to stand, Noelle didn't hesitate before reaching out to stop him, but he only flinched and fell from his half-standing position, landing painfully on his backside. As much as she wanted to comfort him, she knew attempting to help would only terrify him further. "Guy, are you alright? I'm sorry. I didn't think…"

"No, don't apologize. That's exactly the problem." He sat with his hands on his knees, curled up into himself and took a deep breath for courage before continuing. "This phobia always interferes with everything. All my dreams depend on my getting over it. But the longer I have it, the more I think my dreams will never come true."

"Which are?" she prompted.

"Things people take for granted sometimes. A wife, a family, maybe kids. Hell, even a first kiss…a relationship. Don't get me wrong: I have great friends. But sometimes, it just feels like…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

"You need something more?" Noelle supplied.

Guy smiled dryly. "Exactly." He went quiet again, leaving her to wonder what he was thinking about again, but the silence was anything but uncomfortable. The two of them didn't mind sitting on the deck with each other, and it was even relaxing. Neither felt the need to break the atmosphere just to provide noise. Instead, Guy waited until he had something to say before speaking again. "Is it wrong to feel lonely even though I have everyone else who cares about me?" he asked, seeming truly saddened by the thought.

"…I don't think it is. There's a part of people that is supposed to want someone special. People need to be close to others. It's only natural to want someone more than just a friend," Noelle replied, picking her words carefully. She was thankful to the dark night that covered the blush creeping up her neck as she spoke. She never thought she would have this kind of conversation with the swordsman, but strangely, everything she was saying to him rang true for her also. Sometimes, she thanked Lorelei that Guy was so dense when it came to women. But then again, she was just as lonely as he was. Maybe it would have been nice if he noticed…

She shook the feeling off, knowing that thinking like that would lead her nowhere with someone who had such a severe case of gynophobia. Perhaps that was the one dream that would never come true for her, same as Guy, but she couldn't tell him that. He would only end up feeling terrible that the circumstances had led to such a hopeless situation, and then she would feel even worse in return. But, maybe she could help him get over it…?

"Noelle? Noelle, are you listening?" the noble interrupted her thoughts. His small chuckle at her dazed look made her heart jump. "You kind of spaced out there. Does that mean you're ready to try and sleep, yet?"

"Oh, yes, I suppose I should get some rest. It's probably gotten quite late, hasn't it?" She stood up slowly, making sure she could move safely before taking a first step. Weariness had indeed set into her body, making her stiff, but she wasn't about to say anything. It wasn't like she hadn't enjoyed her time lying down on the deck.

Guy laughed again. "Yeah. Thanks for letting me talk with you, Noelle. I know I shouldn't have bothered you with all this, but you're a good friend. I appreciate it," he said, completely oblivious to the sudden effect his words had.

_Friend_. That was it. She was his friend, and nothing more, and nothing could possibly change that. He would get hurt if he truly knew, and Noelle couldn't put him through that. So she faked a smile and pretended that he hadn't just shoved a proverbial knife in her heart. "No problem. I'm glad I could help. Thank _you_ for spending time with me up here."

He returned the smile brightly. "You're welcome. Well, I hope you sleep well."

"You, too."

Noelle wanted to stop him as he walked back to the sleeping area. She wanted to tell him how she really felt. But in the end, she merely watched as he disappeared behind the cabin door, catching the cheerful grin as he caught her while closing it. She turned away and walked back to her own bed, regretting ever having dreamed that she and Guy could ever be closer than friends and her own stupidity for having fallen for him without the courage to tell him so. She curled up under the sheets, exhausted from the racing thoughts, but one stuck out more than any of the others as she managed to drift off.

'_I'm such a coward…_'

* * *

A/N: Well? Should I leave it like this or continue it out? Any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated, but thank you for reading this far anyway. I appreciate it!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own Tales of the Abyss. It's probably better that way.

A/N: First of all, I'm so terribly sorry for the wait on this chapter! Last week got out of control for me, like sewing a cosplay for the first time for Halloween, falling drastically sick, studying for a chemistry exam, and having the final marching band show of the year on Saturday. I had no time to write…

Second, thank you to everyone who read this, and an extra special thanks and eternal gratitude to the ones who reviewed. I'm grateful for your convincing me to continue this story, and that you liked it enough to want it to be longer. This one's for you, and I hope you enjoy it just as much.

Chapter 2

Moments after Guy closed the door with that ever present smile, he let it fade as he rested his head against the wall next to it. He figured with all the fighting and injuries he had sustained over the course of his journey with Luke he would have the brains not to _torture_ himself, even if it was only mental, but the more he was around Noelle…it was like an addiction. Sometimes he looked for any excuse just to spend time around the pilot, hoping she wouldn't notice how flimsy some of them were.

Dragging himself over to his bed, he practically collapsed onto it, completely zoned out in thought. _'I don't want to just call her a friend, but I know I can't be anything else to her. She knows how I am. There's no way she would ever consider accepting me as more than just a travel companion…'_

He leaned up only long enough to kick off his boots, rubbing his head before he fell back onto his pillow. All this thinking was giving him a headache, an endless cycle of self-doubt and uncertainty. It certainly wasn't helping him get the sleep he so desperately needed if he was going to be of any use in the event of an unexpected battle. Taking deep, calming breaths, he let his eyes drift closed, listening to his own rhythmic breathing to try and lull himself to sleep. He aimed for four seconds each, a repetitive action that was just monotonous to pull him under. He was almost there, feeling himself giving in and his entire body relaxing.

Unbidden, Noelle's bright, smiling face surfaced in his imagination just at the edge of unconsciousness, jerking him back awake in an instant.

"Damn it!" he swore softly under his breath, throwing his arm over his eyes as he sighed in exasperation. Suddenly, the comfortable position he had sunk into on the mattress was no longer as cozy as it had been, so he rolled over onto his side and then onto his stomach. He continued until he ended up on his back again, frustrated and desperate for rest.

'_I wonder if she's asleep yet. Why did I think that? Now I'm just going to worry about if she's getting the sleep she needs, when I should be, too. Alright, just stop thinking about it…count breaths again. That's it…' _Guy sighed again, willing his overactive mind to just stop thinking. It wasn't listening. '_I wonder if she counts to fall asleep, too…'_ His eyes snapped open and he glared at the ceiling, seconds before he sat up and slipped out of the room to check on Noelle's progress. In the worst case scenario, all that would happen is they would end up talking to each other again.

He peeked carefully into the room, remaining as quiet as physically possible, and was relieved to see her breathing deeply, completely relaxed. He smiled, realizing he had never seen the pilot asleep before, and it really was quite cute. Before he knew what was happening, his feet carried him closer to her bed.

She was curled up on her side with one leg stretched out and the other bent. Her hands were resting together, under her cheek, and her blonde hair was spread wildly over the pillow, one strand of it falling over her eye. Guy longed to correct it, but not only would that be physical contact that he surely couldn't handle, how would Noelle feel if she were to discover Guy in her bedroom standing over her?

Still, now that the thought had invaded his mind, it wouldn't leave him alone. Besides, his mind justified, it would be an experiment to get over his fear, right? He wouldn't be able to do it all at once, but maybe with little steps…

He slid an inch closer to the bed.

His mind and body started a war with each other in that small shift, his body trying its hardest to pull away and his mind screaming at him to stay. His mind won, and eventually he grew more comfortable with the close proximity. He continued with closing the distance, fighting himself the entire way, until he actually was close enough to move the strand of hair. He whimpered, moving his hand ever so slightly, which, he noted with no surprise what-so-ever, was shaking terribly.

He inhaled deeply, inching closer until he could feel the warmth coming off of her, and he bit his lip in concentration. This was it. There was no turning back now.

"Guy?"

He couldn't help it; with his concentration broken, he screamed out loud and twitched away, not noticing the persistent calling of his name until a few seconds too late.

"Guy. Hey, Guy? You were whimpering. Are you alright?" A familiar red-head entered his line of vision, and Guy noticed that he was lying on his back, staring up at Luke. "It sounded like you were having a nightmare…" Luke let the sentence hang in the air, open ended and searching for an answer.

The blonde rubbed his eyes, stalling for his composure to come back before he spoke. "Yeah, you could call it that…" he fibbed. Finally coming to the realization that it had all been a dream, Guy couldn't call it a nightmare, but it was scary in its own right. Having it had certainly shocked him into realizing just how deeply he had fallen for the pilot, if his dream-self was even willing to conquer his fear for her. '_Now, there's a thought. I wonder if she would let me…eh, don't be stupid.'_

"Well, Noelle's about to get the Albiore flying, so she wanted everyone awake before she took off. There's some breakfast waiting for you, too." When Luke didn't get a response from his friend, he looked at him concernedly. "Are you alright? Did you not sleep enough because of that dream?"

Guy snapped out of his thoughts, red dusting his cheeks as he knew he had been caught thinking about Noelle yet again. "Nah, I just need to wake up a little. Breakfast sounds really good right now, thank you."

He pried himself up off the bed, following the far-too-energetic-for-this-early-in-the-morning Luke out of the room. Once in the cockpit, he was passed a bagel with ham and egg in it, which he happily ate while waiting for Noelle to start the Albiore.

He had just taken a bite when the pilot's voice rang out through the cabin. "Guy, would you mind sitting in the copilot's seat? If you want to fly this thing, you should at least spend more time getting to know the controls, right?"

Guy almost wound up choking on his bagel, but he swallowed it just in time to croak out, "Fly the Albiore? You mean it?"

Noelle turned around with a sheepish smile. "Yes…I felt bad for keeping you from flying it yesterday, but I know if I give you a little more instruction, you'll be a great pilot. I trust you. And, I did promise back in Sheridan that I'd let you." Both thought about that for a second, Guy's nerves sparking to life as he remembered how blissfully oblivious he had been to how he led her on. Now that he thought back on it again, he could easily see how much of an idiot he had been to both of their feelings. Head spinning with thoughts, he hesitated slightly before hovering in place.

She glanced pointedly at the seat beside her, quietly reassuring him that it was alright to sit there. He walked over slowly, disbelieving what he was doing. At the same time, he was eager to start his flying lesson, so he plopped down in the chair, examining the lighted panels of the cockpit. His eyes traced over already somewhat familiar mechanisms, while others he had no idea about what they did.

Noelle chuckled lightly upon seeing how excited Guy was, and she hadn't even told him anything about flying. However, as Guy looked up at her for instruction, she was more than willing to get the lesson underway. "Okay, this dial tells you how fast you're going, this one is for stability, and this one shows how hot the Albiore's engines are getting. We've had to stop to cool down before, remember?"

Guy nodded. "That's one of the only times I've actually seen you scared. You said the engines would stall."

"Ah…you noticed?" Noelle's cheeks flushed at how observant he could be sometimes, but she shook it off and continued. "Anyway, this lever controls elevation," she said, pointing to a handle on the panel. "You pull down to go higher, and you push up on it in order to land. And of course, you know how to steer."

Behind the duo, the rest of the party watched in fascination as Guy didn't even notice he was leaning closer to Noelle as she pointed out the different parts of the control system on her separate control panel. Not that they were going to say anything, of course, but with them so wrapped up in their flight lesson, they did take the opportunity to talk about them behind their backs.

Jade was the first to speak, sliding his glasses up his nose with his characteristic smirk. "Ah, young love may just be the cure Guy needs. Of course, I'm certain he'll realize soon enough how closely he's leaning towards Noelle. This should prove to be quite entertaining," he finished, settling down in a chair and watching interestedly.

"That's horrible, Colonel!" Anise admonished, though even she was curious about the situation, too. "But…maybe I should interrupt and scare Guy, myself. That way Noelle won't feel bad and I'll get to have a little fun!" She giggled behind her hand at the thought.

"Really. And you were just commenting about me? That would be terribly cruel of you, Anise," Jade replied, just a trace of amusement evident in his voice. "No, let's just see where this leads," he added, in the same voice he would use as though discussing an experiment.

"Boo! That's no fun at all~…" she griped, but settled back down into her seat anyway. She looked over at Luke and Tear, who were engaged in their own conversation, and pouted jealously. "Even you two seem to be getting along a lot better," she accused. "So not fair…"

They both blushed bright red, protesting loudly. The ensuing stuttering and vehement denial claimed the attention of Guy and Noelle, who broke away from the lesson long enough to glance back and laugh. Noelle turned to the controls just long enough to set the Albiore on autopilot before watching the scene again.

"We're not-! It's not like that!" Luke objected.

Tear nodded, only slightly more composed. "I'm watching over him to ensure he continues growing as a person. It's nothing more than that."

Guy chuckled in amusement. "Come on, Luke. You'll have to do better than that to convince us. It's so obvious," he teased, watching his best friend fumble for a comeback and lighting up once he had found one.

"Oh yeah?" he retorted angrily. "Look who's talking, Mister 'Please Let Me Fly the Albiore.' Honestly, if you were any denser…" he trailed off, unsure of exactly how to finish that thought.

"He'd sink like a rock the next time he went for a swim?" Anise supplied. She giggled at the thought, ignoring Guy's pleading expression for them to stop. He really would have to learn to keep his mouth shut. This was the second time it had gotten him in trouble as far as Luke and Tear were concerned.

Luke grinned. "Exactly!"

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jade grinned evilly, deciding it was time to make another appearance in the conversation and go back on what he had said earlier. "Oh, really? I thought you would have noticed by now. You two certainly seem to be getting a lot _closer_ at the moment." Guy looked confused, and the older male took the opportunity to glance pointedly at Noelle.

Guy looked in the same direction, jumping out of his skin when he realized just how closely he was leaning towards the pilot. He jerked back with a strangled noise of terror, ignoring for the moment the peals of laughter that came from behind him in favor of calming his racing heart.

"Guy and me? I'm just teaching him to fly, that's all," Noelle chimed in, while Guy tried to find his voice. "Besides, we're travel companions, nothing more."

"Why, who said anything about you, Noelle? I could have meant Natalia," he remarked, baiting both girls at the same time. Noelle flushed, knowing how dangerous Jade could be when he was in one of his teasing moods, but even this was something she was unused to. And at the same time, he had framed her into practically admitting she had feelings for Guy.

Thankfully, Natalia was pretending to be above the conversation and did not reply to the taunt, but now that Guy was recovering, he could have sworn he heard something in Noelle's tone, a familiar hint of denial that he had not only heard from himself, but Luke and Tear as well. It was hard to mistake, but coming from Noelle…? That was unexpected.

He needed time to think, which he clearly wasn't going to get while sitting in the cockpit surrounded by several people who seemed all too happy to rile him up and one who may not have been as averse to him as he previously thought. He thought furiously to come up with a reasonable excuse to leave and put it into action, faking a huge yawn behind his hand. "You know, I think you might have been right, Luke…If you're managing to trick me into arguing with you, I didn't get enough sleep last night with that nightmare..." He turned to Noelle with a sheepish smile. "I know you wanted us all awake, but I trust you not to crash us while I'm resting up a little bit more," he said, winking without even realizing it.

The party behind them could barely suppress their mirth as Noelle blushed at the action, and Guy was oblivious to it. "Oh…alright. I hope you feel better soon."

"I'm sure I will. See you in a little bit." With that, Guy swept back into the room he had left only a little while before. He slid down the door, staring at the opposite wall while he contemplated. He exhaled heavily, mind racing again.

'_Could I have been wrong? I doubt I was wrong about hearing that denial in her voice, but for me? Surely she's realized I'm not capable of…damn it. The best way to find out would be to just ask, but how would I do that without making her uncomfortable? Maybe if I confessed first, she wouldn't be as nervous, but I might scare her. Oh boy…'_

Several hours and much debating later, Luke found Guy still leaning against the door and cramped, but at least his plan was as ready as it could be.

Now he just had to put it into action.

* * *

A/N: Ah, I hope this goes over better than my one-shot, especially since you had to wait for it. Again, I'm sorry for the late post. I make no guarantees on a time frame for the next chapter (massive homework in preparation for Thanksgiving break) but I swear I will not abandon this story!


End file.
